Saturday, 26 January, 2013.
Approximately 8.30 p.m.
So, B and D and myself, we’re
sitting around chatting. Having just finished dinner, we’re having a
sundowner drink. B interrupts, says “Oh my. Look at that.” And
points to the ceiling.
I look up
and see this 4 inch (or was it 2 feet?) long cockroach slash small animal
racing across the ceiling! I jump up, “EEK!” and run out to the
patio. B gets the fly swatter.
I’m thinking, what’s that going to
do? ...but B stands on the chesterfield and yells out to me, “You better come
back in, I’m going to flick it in your direction!” Thanks for
that!...Aaaaaaa!!!
I run back
in, he ‘flicks’ it, but it drops down onto the chesterfield, and of course it’s
closer to me now than when I was out on the patio.
B and D are both frantically trying to
find the alien beast, OMG it’s in the cushions, and D says, “Thanks
B, now it’s in my bed!” ah ah ah!!!
Finally they find it, it
scurries across the cushion onto the floor, B beats it with the swatter, 3 times, 4 times, 15 times,
until finally – I think he knocks it out.
(Of course I’m nowhere NEAR all
of this, I’m outside screaming silently to myself, KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!!)
B picks
the thing up (I don’t know how and I don’t want to know how), takes it to the
bathroom to flush it away. The toilet flushes once, twice, three times,
then I hear, “S**T! B**tard won’t go! The toilets here flush like Niagara
Falls, so I’m thinking this thing is invincible. Somehow it is
removed from the toilet bowl and is killed. Again, I don’t want to know how. And they take it outside.
B and
D are standing over it.
"Is
it dead?"
"I
don't know, I think so.”
“Is it
moving? Touch it."
"I'm
not gonna touch it, you touch it!"
"No
way, I'm not touching it!"
Pause.
"OK
then… I don’t think it’s moving, do you see it moving?"
“Hmm.. no,
I guess it isn't moving, it must be dead."
"Sure,
yeah, I agree, it's dead."
Sigh of relief from me. But....then I
look at the inside wall beside the back of the door and scream, “OMG, there’s
another one!” B runs back in, proceeds to assault this one multiple times, (to
knock it out again of course because swatting it does NOT KILL THESE B**TARDS)….and
then, finally, it CEASES TO BE….and out it goes to join its dead brother.
Fast forward now
to this morning, we’ve been in touch with the property manager here, and
they’ve had a pest control guy spray the apartment. We’ve also been told that the “grease trap”
in front of the unit hadn’t been emptied in a while, so now we’re quite sure
that that is where the *&^%$#'s came from.
The pest control
guy told us a story. Many years
ago, hucksters would trap the cockroaches, kill them (somehow!)”pose” them by opening
their wings, and then pin them on a piece of mahogany. They would shellac them, and then sell them as
finely carved, detailed “Mahogany Birds” of the Caribbean.
I don’t know if
the story is true, but I do know that they wouldn't have fooled me.
6 comments:
OK, Carolynn. Giant alien beasts are one thing, but have you seen the giant alien frogs that gather in choir-like formation just off the Moonshine carpark in Golden Grove? They're monsters!....and they look like, if they all got together, they could kill you....or croak you to death (is that the definition of 'croaking'?).
Sounds like you're having a really good time.
Ew!!! Those sound horrible, but your story made me laugh out loud! :)
Anne: I'll have to look for the choir of frogs -- then again, maybe not!! I definitely won't go alone, could be they're waiting for a lone pedestrian....
Frogs are everywhere though, dozens and dozens of them....so I wonder, where are they during the day? That's another thing I don't think I want to know!
We are (still) having a great time! Wish you guys were still here though!
xx
Shannon: Glad you found it funny! They really were alien and mutant, you can tell by the photo ;-)
xxMum
Ya....made me laugh out loud too, especially the guys standing over the body trying to determine if it was dead or not! Reminds me of a long ago Jsmaica trip, had one if those giant roaches in our hotel tub and after trying to drown it (they swim!), we scooped and flushed....numerous times...lol
OMG so that's why it didn't flush, it swam over from Jamaica....!!! Hardy little buggers. ;-)
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